time pass

its 1.38am now.....
i'm lost and confused=(
i lost my home* 8years back.
home.home as in a warm home with love.
i don dare to trust anyone in this home...this house...
its full of lies...twist...confusion.
i believe to say that.an orphan is having a more homey home than mine.place filled with orphanage that care for each other in one place.
for me...i seriously rather be at there...

Gees..if only I could be there with you when you are down..but I know that's almost impossible..All I could do is to only wish all the best..haiz..life sux?lol

Gees!why is there people that is so irritating and stupid to accept rejection?!it's really a huge torn in the ass man!GRrRRRR!!!!!

Sian...one more week than the stupid NDP will finish..can't wait for it to end!dame it!ha!finally next week will be the week I book my appointment for my surgery=] been waiting for it quite some time..hopefully I'll not have to wait very long for my surgery date.

He changed,change so much that I think that his a different person.in the past he used to 'bully' or say play with me..but after his report went out,he slowly change...he told me that there's been so much problem going on with him,be it family,gf or friends..the way I see him now has cool down so much,or maybe I should describe as lost.. .. .. People may see him as a useless guy or a person that's just purely selfish..but I'm surely I'm treating him as a strong guy.well cas in a way his somehow in a way like me,same having back problem like mine having those troubles and yet his diff from one point than me..at least his not the person that will spent his time on drinking and playing unlike me..ha..least I see him just trying to avoid his problem and let time just pass..somehow someday,things will just settle.. Well his a niceguy but playfully in nature.may he have a better future than mine=]

life is getting more and more boring!!!!
what i'd been doing nowadays is drinking!
why?!??cas i'v got no time left outside!
dame it..time that i'll be free most likly is at night time and is sooo freaking fk up!
fk stupid ndp stuff..make my time so unbalance.Z
well tonight after my ndp stuff i'm going to go xian chelay~
guess i'm gonna be dame tired..
ciaosu~

Incomplete stupid story.

I know a guy.a guy that was very stupid.his a guy that once believe in 爱.a word so stupid that made him go over his limits.he was once a guy that always like to do stuff he feels like it as and when he feels like it until he met her.one that change his mindset so much that he lost himself.a different person...but happy one.as when his in NS if not because of her he would have given up and ended up most likly in DB.but well..he just got the mindset of,'no matter what happen I must endure it so that I would meet her in the weekend and waste no weekends in army for extra confinement or whatsoever..everytime when he feels that his body is at limits he will just tell himself that he must make it!so as to proof that he can be a better man after enduring all the tough training and the pains in his body.he din give a dame until his body started to proof him that his over the limit.he was depressed confuse..as when time pass somehow the girl that motivated him so much left him.he had change after that as for what he went through and things he heard from his friends saying about what she had done..under confusetion he just kept telling himself'i won't give a dame about feelings so much anymore it's just time to play and play till the age come.' So he change,wonder if it's just the right choice for him.